Denene Millner, author of the blog
My Brown Baby, wrote a very interesting article for
Refinery 29 on
what's wrong with telling a little girl she's pretty. Millner has a beautiful four-year-old daughter who receives compliments on her beauty frequently. This makes Millner uncomfortable not because she doesn't want her daughter to hear she's beautiful, but because she thinks there is more to her beauty than just her cuteness. She tells her daughter her beauty runs deep,"You're so pretty...but more importantly, you're smart and kind and have the type of stubborn determination that'll take you places." Millner says in raising her daughter she stresses the importance of building intellect, being honest, having a strong body and being compassionate.
Millner explains that the seeds she sprinkles in our "color struck, body-obsessed, white-washed world" are seeds of self acceptance and positivity. She tells her daughter. " Yes, you’re a cutie, but really that means nothing in comparison to the beauty of character. That’s what will carry you through life with grace. That’s what will help you make lasting relationships and wise decisions. That’s what will help you realize how truly full of beauty you are. Not because of your smile, but because of the way it radiates warmth. Not because of your eyes, but because of how they see good in others. Not
because of your hair, but because of how it reflects your bursting personality. Your beauty is ever-present. You don’t need eyes to see it.”
Millner's daughter is so lucky to be raised by such a strong, smart woman. By teaching the importance of character, Millner is providing her daughter with the most important tools for a successful, happy life. My mother raised me with similar morals and taught me the importance of being a good person and treating other people with respect. To be cliche, I was taught true beauty is on the inside. I am sure the reason Millner's daughter receives so many compliments on her beauty is because she is so wonderful on the inside that it shows outwardly.