Understanding the Bully

Beautiful day outside yet, the weather can't seem to make up its mind between Summer and Fall. I actually feel that same way. On one hand, I don't want Summer to end, but....I do love Fall and its pretty colors and I love breaking out my sweatpants and cute sweaters. Each season has its benefits and beauty.

Today, I'd like to talk about the media/entertainment and its role in discussing bullying. Many movies have scenes where bullying takes place like the one I talked about earlier, "Bridge to Terabithia." According to the U.S. Department of Natural Health and Human Services, between 1 and 4 and 1 and 3 students say they have been bullied at school. There have been numerous studies done that show bullying effecting youth as they grow into adulthood.

One of the reasons why I wanted to join Nobul is because I feel very strongly about bullying not only since I've often been the target, but because I can still feel the effects. I love being able to speak out about bullying and have a chance to change people's thinking. Writing about it is one way to spread awareness as are speeches, advertisements, movies etc. When you feel strongly about something, I suggest you take action in whatever medium you feel comfortable using. Writing is my passion so I use it to talk about topics that mean something to me.

Many journalists, producers and the like have spoken against bullying which is definitely a good thing, though we must be careful not to become hateful. We want to spread inclusion not hate, especially not hate against the "bully" himself.  In many instances a person who is bullying another person is struggling in other areas of his or her life and it is important to show compassion to such individuals. We don't want to criminalize the bully, instead we want to teach the bully and the bullied how to self-regulate behavior and provide them with tools to manage difficult and stressful situations.

Goldie Hawn's foundation, MindUP, is a 12 step program that teaches children mindfulness to help improve perspective taking, empathy and kindness as well as foster complex problem solving skills.  This program embodies Nobul's mission and goals in creating a safe environment for all children.

No one should have to endure bullying. I believe the first step to snapback against bullying is to become aware of how great the problem is and to learn how we can help manage such situations. To see bullying statistics posted by the U.S. Government, here is the link.

--Ruth Jackson

Does Anyone Know What the Opposite of Bullying is?

Hope you all had a wonderful week full of shopping, picnics and last minute summer vacations! Amidst my hectic week of traveling, working and meeting with friends, I came across this interesting article, The Positive Psychology of Empathy. This really got me thinking in a totally new direction.

What is the opposite of bullying? I never really thought about it before diving into this piece. The article's author, Patty O'Grady, Ph.D, says the answer is empathy. Think about it. When you put your own perceptions aside and think about how the other is feeling and understand, you tend to draw closer to that person. He or she becomes a real human being with feelings that matter and not someone to pick on.

I have to admit, the article gets into some pretty deep, scientific stuff. Talking about what happens inside your body when you feel empathy etc.. I'm not a science girl at all, instead I'm the crafty, imaginative, creative person. Regardless of all that, this is fascinating and I hope you think so too. 

Do you ever wonder why when you see someone else cry, you feel like crying? The motor neurons are the culprit. On the flipside these special neurons are a good thing because as the article describes, we each can empathize with one another. When we stop and think about the other person's feelings and how we would feel if we were in that situation, we tend to not shoot our mouths off or purposely hurt another person. 

I encourage you to empathize with your friends, family and neighbors. How would you feel if you were having a bad day and someone decided to trip you on the way down the stairs? What if your uncle passed away and you felt like crying all day? We should care about each other, not tear one another up. What good does that do? Nothing. 

My last thought I impart onto you all is, put yourself in another person's shoes and empathize instead of putting them down. Who knows, maybe you have something in common.

SNAPBACK AGAINST BULLYING

-Ruth