Understanding the Bully

Beautiful day outside yet, the weather can't seem to make up its mind between Summer and Fall. I actually feel that same way. On one hand, I don't want Summer to end, but....I do love Fall and its pretty colors and I love breaking out my sweatpants and cute sweaters. Each season has its benefits and beauty.

Today, I'd like to talk about the media/entertainment and its role in discussing bullying. Many movies have scenes where bullying takes place like the one I talked about earlier, "Bridge to Terabithia." According to the U.S. Department of Natural Health and Human Services, between 1 and 4 and 1 and 3 students say they have been bullied at school. There have been numerous studies done that show bullying effecting youth as they grow into adulthood.

One of the reasons why I wanted to join Nobul is because I feel very strongly about bullying not only since I've often been the target, but because I can still feel the effects. I love being able to speak out about bullying and have a chance to change people's thinking. Writing about it is one way to spread awareness as are speeches, advertisements, movies etc. When you feel strongly about something, I suggest you take action in whatever medium you feel comfortable using. Writing is my passion so I use it to talk about topics that mean something to me.

Many journalists, producers and the like have spoken against bullying which is definitely a good thing, though we must be careful not to become hateful. We want to spread inclusion not hate, especially not hate against the "bully" himself.  In many instances a person who is bullying another person is struggling in other areas of his or her life and it is important to show compassion to such individuals. We don't want to criminalize the bully, instead we want to teach the bully and the bullied how to self-regulate behavior and provide them with tools to manage difficult and stressful situations.

Goldie Hawn's foundation, MindUP, is a 12 step program that teaches children mindfulness to help improve perspective taking, empathy and kindness as well as foster complex problem solving skills.  This program embodies Nobul's mission and goals in creating a safe environment for all children.

No one should have to endure bullying. I believe the first step to snapback against bullying is to become aware of how great the problem is and to learn how we can help manage such situations. To see bullying statistics posted by the U.S. Government, here is the link.

--Ruth Jackson

Michael Brown: What Now?

Hello All!! Labor Day is behind us and I trust you had a relaxing last weekend before the warm weather ends. Today, I wanted to address the Michael Brown shooting. If you don't know anything about it, I suggest you look here. I searched long and hard to find an article that didn't appear to have a particular slant in any direction. This incident is a sad one, yet still needs to be looked at closely before shouting out accusations.

Until we have all the facts, I don't believe that any one of us should blame the police or Michael himself. Apparently, there has been a bit of mistrust between the African American community and the police force. I don't live in Missouri, so I won't give an opinion on that. Just hope that overtime and with a lot of open communication, both sides can be peaceful with one another.

I hope there is a fair and just trial for police officer Darren Wilson, though community members are worried Robert P. McCulloch, the lead official handling the investigation, will be bias towards the police force. We send our love and condolences to the friends and family of Michael Brown and are very sorry for their loss.

Protesters, including Lesley McFadden, Michael Brown's mother, marched in Ferguson, Mo.
Photo: New York Times

--Ruth Jackson

Bridge to Terabithia Through New Eyes

Hello guys! I wanted to share something that I think will help us see the whole picture in relation to bullying. Recently, I watched "Bridge to Terabithia" for what seems like the tenth time. Despite this fact, I saw the movie with new eyes. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, here is a synopsis of it. I found that the scenes when Scott Hoger kept taunting Jess with "Beep....beep...loser alert" and some girls making fun of Leslie's essay hit home for me because growing up kids did similar things to me.

One of the things I love about this movie is that it shows Janice Avery, a bully at the beginning, change when she realizes what it's like to be on the otherside. I strongly believe that if we stop and think carefully about how other people feel when we mock them, we will change our behavior. I've yet to see this happen with those who bullied me, but regardless of that I've made a vow to never be like them.

As you watch this film, you'll see the changes in the main characters...well...except for Scott. Scott still has some growing up to do. The more you get to know someone, the more you see how human they are, fragile and want to feel love and acceptance, just like you do. I'm crying already just thinking about the scene where Mrs. Myers tells Jess her story. At the beginning, the kids all call her "Monster Myers." No one has a clue as to the pain she's hiding.

We don't know the story about the girl who's always quiet or the boy who'd rather play by himself than kickball with other kids. Bridge to Terabithia made me cry, but also made me smile because even though this is a fiction story, we can learn from it.

Here is the trailer, if you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it!

--Ruth Jackson

Does Anyone Know What the Opposite of Bullying is?

Hope you all had a wonderful week full of shopping, picnics and last minute summer vacations! Amidst my hectic week of traveling, working and meeting with friends, I came across this interesting article, The Positive Psychology of Empathy. This really got me thinking in a totally new direction.

What is the opposite of bullying? I never really thought about it before diving into this piece. The article's author, Patty O'Grady, Ph.D, says the answer is empathy. Think about it. When you put your own perceptions aside and think about how the other is feeling and understand, you tend to draw closer to that person. He or she becomes a real human being with feelings that matter and not someone to pick on.

I have to admit, the article gets into some pretty deep, scientific stuff. Talking about what happens inside your body when you feel empathy etc.. I'm not a science girl at all, instead I'm the crafty, imaginative, creative person. Regardless of all that, this is fascinating and I hope you think so too. 

Do you ever wonder why when you see someone else cry, you feel like crying? The motor neurons are the culprit. On the flipside these special neurons are a good thing because as the article describes, we each can empathize with one another. When we stop and think about the other person's feelings and how we would feel if we were in that situation, we tend to not shoot our mouths off or purposely hurt another person. 

I encourage you to empathize with your friends, family and neighbors. How would you feel if you were having a bad day and someone decided to trip you on the way down the stairs? What if your uncle passed away and you felt like crying all day? We should care about each other, not tear one another up. What good does that do? Nothing. 

My last thought I impart onto you all is, put yourself in another person's shoes and empathize instead of putting them down. Who knows, maybe you have something in common.

SNAPBACK AGAINST BULLYING

-Ruth 

Robin Williams - Idealistic and Loveable

As we all know by now, the actor Robin Williams passed away in his home in California on August 11, 2014. He was a gifted comedian and actor who had struggles just like you and me. His wife, Susan Schneider, issued a statement ending with "...His greatest legacy, besides his three children, is the joy and happiness he offered to others, particularly to those fighting personal battles." "Robin McLaurin Williams." Bio. A&E Television Networks, 2014. Web. 17 Aug. 2014. Even though his life ending in a tragic way, we can all learn from his inspiration and constant encouragement to "beeeee yourself" (from Genie in Aladdin).

I'm sure we all have favorite movies we shared with him, so I'll share mine which is Flubber. Personally, I found the movie to be hilarious! Flubber, which was an invention of Robin William's character, Professor Phillip Brainard, was a film that passed on the message of "The stuff that dreams are made of." This brings me to a quote of his that I think goes hand in hand with Nobul Apparel's theme.

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." 

                                                                                    - Robin Williams

This is exactly what we are trying to do. Nobul wants to change people's perspectives on bullying. Not only that, but to take it one step further and think about the consequences of those actions. I strongly believe that many people get roped into bullying others because "everyone hates so and so" or they are scared they will get bullied if they don't become the bullier. Our idea of spreading inclusion instead of oppression can change how people think. Each one of you can change the world, your world, when you act differently than your peers. Take the video on Nobul's website, about the football team who decided to take a stand. Each person on that team could have decided to treat Keith like many others choose too, by bullying him, but instead they decided to really make him a member of their team.

No matter how uncommon your idea is if it makes someone else feel welcomed, do it! Who knows, maybe you'll change your world. :)

Look at the Other Side

Having a good day so far? As the new intern for Nobul Apparel, I wanted to introduce myself and give you something to think about regarding the topic of bullying.

For starters, my name is Ruth Jackson and I hail from the town of Windsor, CT where I was born and raised. My parents valued both of their children's vast interests and individualities. Growing up, I wanted to be a nurse, then a veterinarian, a librarian, an airline pilot and now, an author. My disability hindered many career paths and I found myself thinking, "I can't." In school, people thought I was stupid and sometimes contagious. All I wanted, still do, is a friend who cares and wants to get to know me. I hope this video will inspire you to reach out to those who are different from you.

Being different isn't something to be ashamed of. Instead, you should explore your personal uniqueness and meet others who are not quite like you. You never know what you might find out. Whether the person has a disability or is from another country, you should ask. Broaden your horizons! I invite you to watch this short video about life as a unique person in this world.

On a personal note, people with disabilities very often have the most amazing ways of viewing life. Having a disability is hard, I know. Most of my life was spent trying to figure out how I fit in this world. It's difficult being different and some people don't realize how difficult. I agree with both Alex and Skye, asking is the best way to get to know someone. I too, rather have someone ask about my difference rather than gossip or bully me about it.

I thoroughly love meeting new people for the purpose of hearing their stories. A guy I met a few years ago, I will name him Charlie, was from Botswana. He opened my eyes to how some people live. The continent of Africa is a strange place to me, I've never been there, only seen pictures from the news or history books. The media often only tells one side of a story so hearing a person's first hand account is most likely more accurate. He grew up poor with seven brothers and sisters. His parents never went to college and he was the first to go. Hearing his stories sometimes made me cry. What I have grown up with in America, he never had a taste of until coming to Washington DC for college. I had never met someone like him and I look forward to meeting new people with awesome stories to tell!

So next time you meet someone and you find out they are from a tiny island in the middle of the Mediterranean you've never heard of or they have dyslexia, just ask them about it! It's amazing what you can find out!

-Ruth Jackson

For Bad Hair Days: Dress Up your Snapback

images from WhoWhatWear.com

Many days out of my week are bad hair days. We all know that washing your hair every day is damaging but for me not washing it can be frightening. I am plagued with greasy tresses naturally and on top of that forcing myself to the gym a few times a week leaves my hair sweaty and dirty! Fortunately, Cindy here (our model below, lets just call her Cindy) shows us how to fix our bad hair days with style and panache! She makes her snapback look effortlessly chic and professional to boot! In the summer I wear hats a lot more frequently to help protect my face from the sun and now to protect my hair from over-washing. 

Tips on how to get Cindy's looks in the midst of a bad hair day:

On any regular bad hair day or after a gym session, I like to take a body shower and put some dry shampoo or baby powder in my hair to help absorb excess oil. There are some expensive dry shampoos out there, I like Bumble and Bumble because they have dry shampoo with tinted colors. I have dark brown hair and I usually get the Blondish Hair Powder.  The only downside to Bumble and Bumble is it is expensive. If you want something wallet friendly I recommend Suave! You can get this at almost any local drug store or online HERE for super cheap. The Keratin Infused Suave dry shampoo is really great. Waring this does come out white so be careful with how much you spray on, I have a tendency to over do it. 

I brush out my hair and put some Morracan Oil (available on Amazon) at the tips to help with dry ends. Sometimes, I will use a flat iron or a curling iron on the ends of my hair as well. 

This way when I choose my favorite NOBUL SNAPBACK I am really fooling everyone because the ends of my hair look styled. Since Nobul has so many different styles and color options, I don't have a problem finding a hat that works with what I'm wearing. When in doubt, I wear the Black on Black Python which is super sleek yet still a street-style statement piece. Remember every time you wear your Nobul snapback you are spreading a message of love, piece and acceptance!