Happy Thanksgiving

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I happened upon this website about a Thanksgiving Prayer written by a young child.

I would venture to say that many people who have been bullied understand what this child is trying to say and hopefully we can follow her lead. It's hard not to want to fight "fire with fire," but we should try to find a positive way to deal with it. My way? I used to bury myself into a fiction novel like Nancy Drew. It wasn't until I was older, in high school, when I decided to be the best Ruth Jackson I could be and not let their taunts get to me. Granted, that was not an easy thing to do but I couldn't stand going home and crying my heart out anymore.

Another website I found here gives a similar message conveying giving thanks for what we have yet keeping in mind those who are without a loved one. The state of Connecticut in particular has seen many cases where bullying goes to court and very often the behavior doesn't change. I'm sure other states have this issue as well including those who commit suicide. Bullying is not a laughing matter. It's a serious one that needs attention and I wholeheartedly agree with the writer, Mathew Jones, when he says, "We believe in reaching kids while they are young. Once they grow up change becomes much harder."

Together, we can make a difference. HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Gobble Gobble!

--Ruth Jackson

One Voice

Hello everyone! Today, I came across such a moving music video that I just had to share it with you. Here is the link. On the web page, the singer Nakita Turner, also shows a drawing that sends a powerful message.

One thing that I liked about this video as a whole is that there are people singing this from all walks of life and every nationality. Just listening to it, you honestly can't put a label on it. It's not a black song, it's not a white country song, instead it's just a song about putting an end to bullying. A simple and uplifting message of positivity.

Further down on the page, next to the lyrics there are questions I would like you all to think about. Do people's voices matter? Is is only some people or all people? Who gives you a voice that has a right to be heard? Not the bully...it's you! You have every right to be heard.

Here is a picture shown at the bottom of the website:

Do you think the words written in the picture would hurt a person or make them laugh? What are some positive words you can say to someone to make them smile? My drawing? It would be filled with the words/phrases "I love you" "You can do better" "HUGS!" "Smile" "There is a reason you're here" "Every minute is precious" "You got this!" "Don't give up" "I'm glad you're my friend" "Chocolate!" and I can come up with so many more. What can you come up with?

To learn more about Nakita, here is a news article about her and how she came up with this song, "One Voice."

Your voice matters so shout it loud and clear! Make a difference!

--Ruth Jackson

Difference Shouldn't Equal Scary

Today I want to introduce a commercial recently done by General Electric. When I first watched it, I was floored by the realness of it and how close the video hit home for me. I will admit also that the first few seconds after seeing the creature made me sick to my stomach. These feelings were caused by fear. I was truly afraid of what I was about to see, that I didn't want to even watch. Since this commercial came on my computer while I was watching a TV show, my mouse hovered over another tab so that I could hide it until it was over. I'm so glad that I didn't because the message G&E is portraying is a powerful one that many need to understand and appreciate.

There are a lot of things I could mention about this video, but I will limit myself to sharing two reactions. The first being that this "monster" is treated cruelly. Why? Because he's ugly, he's different, he's scary. Just because someone or something is weird or makes you uncomfortable doesn't justify you to have the right to treat it/the person horribly. How would you feel if that man threw a cup at you or if that woman yelled at you to "GET OUT!"?

Another point worth mentioning is that bullies tend to be the ones to lash out at those who are different. They huddle in groups and whisper. They feel pity. Why not lend a helping hand instead? Why not be a friend? I asked myself while watching this, "When we see someone who's different, why do so many treat them with contempt before getting to know them?" I love the fact that General Electric has made this commercial because it makes us think, really think about those new ideas and how we treat them.

It's true that "Ideas can be scary" but that shouldn't mean we should stay away. Instead, we should be like that G&E employee and help that "idea" grow into something more beautiful than we could ever imagine. Think about those inventors that got laughed at and now look around you. We have the light bulb, traffic lights, airplanes, solar energy all because those inventors didn't give up. If they all succumbed to taunts I'm sure they received, we wouldn't have the world we live in today.

If I ever get the chance to meet the person who came up with the initial idea for this commercial, I will applaud them! Well Done!

--Ruth Jackson

It Can Start with You (part 2)

In continuation of my last post, I wanted to talk more about what you can do about bullying. I found this article, Creating a Cyber-Shield Through Parenting and Awareness, on Huffington Post which is directed at parents in particular, but it's a good read for all of us.

Huffington Post has a number of articles surrounding the topic of bullying and this one discusses cyberbullying. Since the beginning of social media, there have been cyberbullies. Whether it be Facebook, Twitter, of even here on Blogger. Bullies still say hurtful things in person, but it's become more prevalent to throw even more lashes online. What can you do about it?

The article linked here talks about parents being a "cyber-shield' for their children. Personally, I believe this is a great way to monitor what your children are saying and receiving. There is however, a right and wrong way to do this. As children are growing older, they should be allowed to make decisions on their own, but at the same time be mindful. I love the fact that this piece gives examples and advice to parents in order for them to be a cyber-shield and cyber-role model for their kids.

Growing up, I'm glad I wasn't on Facebook. I was more of a reader and enjoyed playing soccer in my downtime. Even so, keeping young kids away from social media might not be such a bad road to take. The younger they are, the more susceptible they are. While they are in high school, even though bullies can be more vicious here, giving them access to social media, but being a cyber-shield can be beneficial. This gives the tweens and teens ability to talk to one another and share ideas, pictures, videos and even articles. There are some things that texting just isn't capable of doing.

Granted, I don't have kids of my own right now, but I hope when I get to that point I will be able to be an effective cyber-shield for my children. All it takes is for the parent/guardian to understand the implications of bullying and be willing to take the time to teach their child how to behave in person as well as online. It can start with YOU! What will you do in the fight against bullying?

--Ruth Jackson

It Can Start with YOU

Hello everyone! For those of you in school, it's almost halfway until the end of first semester!

Today, I wanted to talk more about what you can do to stop bullies in their tracks. I found National Education Association (NEA) a couple days ago that talks specifically about what educators and teachers can do about bullying. Many schools are advocating for a bully-free school zone, but until teachers and administrators take action, that thought is just a thought.

Looking back at my growing up years in school, I wish the adults in my life took a stand against the bullies that kept attacking me. Some thought I would learn to overcome adversity through all this, but even though I  can sense that what I went through made me stronger and stand up for myself, having someone around who cared and wanted to help would have made such a difference. This is why whenever I see someone else being bullied, I make my presence known. NEA's president Lily Eskelsen Garcia explains, "I hope to never hear an educator or parent or a Sunday School teacher say to a frightened bullied child, 'Just ignore it.' School that are seeing a decrease in bullying are no ignoring it. They are acting."

I'll admit, I'm a no nonsense kind of girl and I take bullying seriously because I know what it's like. Whether or not you know what it's like to be bullied, take a stand and let that kid know he/she is not alone. Help them build confidence. Even if no one else is standing by their side, it can start with you.

Ignoring the issue is not the solution. Facing it head on and being a verbal/active advocate makes the difference. You don't have to be the hero in the moment, even if you just acknowledge what happened afterwards you will be doing the right thing. You can send a simple text message, or just let the person know that you saw what happened and you don't think it is okay.

Check out the website I linked above. Make a difference and let it start with YOU!

--Ruth Jackson

Focus on the Bullies

Today I want to shift our perspective. For awhile, I've been talking about being bullied. This time I want to discuss the bully.

I found this article to be quite fascinating: Overcoming Bullying and Depression. While it is long, I'm only going to talk about the first few paragraphs in particular. Personally, I was surprised at the statistics and research results from Education.com. The article explains that the bully and the bullied both experience increased depression and suicidal ideation as a result of their experience with being bullied and bullying another person. In fact, the bullies themselves have an "even higher rate of suicidal ideation than those being bullied." Psychologists explain that many bullies have psychological problems can can be causing the bullying. Looking back at my high school life, I'm trying to think if maybe the kids who bullied me were in a bad place emotionally.

Looking at the bully from a wider scope doesn't mean we excuse their behavior it just helps us understand their behavior. Bullies are humans too and understanding their behavior can inspire compassion.

Reading this article I wondered if my bullies felt the same way as I did; alone, depressed, worthless and tired. A few times I even felt like running away and hiding somewhere in the woods so that I wouldn't have to go back to school.

Bullies are hurtful for all sorts of reasons. If we take a step back and think about where this hostile behavior is coming from, maybe instead of avoiding them you might just be able to understand them. You never know until you try.

If you or anyone else you know is suicidal or needs help please visit the KIDS HELPLINE here.

Have a great week!

--Ruth Jackson