Today I want to shift our perspective. For awhile, I've been talking about being bullied. This time I want to discuss the bully.
I found this article to be quite fascinating: Overcoming Bullying and Depression. While it is long, I'm only going to talk about the first few paragraphs in particular. Personally, I was surprised at the statistics and research results from Education.com. The article explains that the bully and the bullied both experience increased depression and suicidal ideation as a result of their experience with being bullied and bullying another person. In fact, the bullies themselves have an "even higher rate of suicidal ideation than those being bullied." Psychologists explain that many bullies have psychological problems can can be causing the bullying. Looking back at my high school life, I'm trying to think if maybe the kids who bullied me were in a bad place emotionally.
Looking at the bully from a wider scope doesn't mean we excuse their behavior it just helps us understand their behavior. Bullies are humans too and understanding their behavior can inspire compassion.
Reading this article I wondered if my bullies felt the same way as I did; alone, depressed, worthless and tired. A few times I even felt like running away and hiding somewhere in the woods so that I wouldn't have to go back to school.
Bullies are hurtful for all sorts of reasons. If we take a step back and think about where this hostile behavior is coming from, maybe instead of avoiding them you might just be able to understand them. You never know until you try.
If you or anyone else you know is suicidal or needs help please visit the KIDS HELPLINE here.
Have a great week!
--Ruth Jackson
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Letting Go of Hatred
I want to thank Frankie, the co-founder of Nobul, who brought this particular TED Talk to my attention. There are quite a few TED Talks that speak to the topic of terrorism, but Zak's speech in particular, about overcoming the barriers he thought were impenetrable, is something worth listening to. Personally, I thought this was beyond powerful and courageous for him to do this.
Many people were taught to fear the "other,"people who were different from them, in their upbringing. Some people were told that Black people are less intelligent than white people, that people with disabilities are incapable of learning and that people from different religions than their own should be avoided. Negative stereotypes like these separate communities, groups and people from each other. I do my best not to categorize people and instead look at them as an individual. My Dad in particular tried really hard to make sure we didn't listen to "You Can't" because "We Can!" Each one of us is unique and when we push negative thoughts aside and hold on to positive people around us, we can indeed soar!
Zak said many things that resonated with me and almost brought me to tears. It's true that hatred demands so much energy while liking someone is easy in comparison. There will always be people who we don't like and that's alright, we don't have to like everyone, but we have to respect them. Growing up, I've watched teachers make fun of kids in the classroom who were different which negatively influenced the environment. I encourage everyone, especially those in authority, to really take a look at themselves and make the necessary changes to bring positivity into the space.
To the younger crowd, I hope what Zak said makes sense. Zak explains that peace is a choice and violence is a choice and each one of us is in control of what we choose. Spreading joy, peace, love, goodness and a host of other positive emotions and actions is far easier than finding new ways to hurt someone because of who they are. Like Zak's mother said, "I'm tired of hating people." Turn that around and make someone smile instead of hurt.
Enjoy your week!
--Ruth Jackson
Many people were taught to fear the "other,"people who were different from them, in their upbringing. Some people were told that Black people are less intelligent than white people, that people with disabilities are incapable of learning and that people from different religions than their own should be avoided. Negative stereotypes like these separate communities, groups and people from each other. I do my best not to categorize people and instead look at them as an individual. My Dad in particular tried really hard to make sure we didn't listen to "You Can't" because "We Can!" Each one of us is unique and when we push negative thoughts aside and hold on to positive people around us, we can indeed soar!
Zak said many things that resonated with me and almost brought me to tears. It's true that hatred demands so much energy while liking someone is easy in comparison. There will always be people who we don't like and that's alright, we don't have to like everyone, but we have to respect them. Growing up, I've watched teachers make fun of kids in the classroom who were different which negatively influenced the environment. I encourage everyone, especially those in authority, to really take a look at themselves and make the necessary changes to bring positivity into the space.
To the younger crowd, I hope what Zak said makes sense. Zak explains that peace is a choice and violence is a choice and each one of us is in control of what we choose. Spreading joy, peace, love, goodness and a host of other positive emotions and actions is far easier than finding new ways to hurt someone because of who they are. Like Zak's mother said, "I'm tired of hating people." Turn that around and make someone smile instead of hurt.
Enjoy your week!
--Ruth Jackson
Monday, September 29, 2014
What Can You do about Bullying?
Hello Everyone!
I don't know about you, but I had a crazy busy week. Everyday was filled with work with only a bit of "me" time. One positive I can spin out of my hectic life is that I came across some books dealing with overcoming bullies. Some are geared for Elementary kids and others I found are for middle schoolers and above. The book I want to talk about today is more around a second grade reading level, but has interesting and I believe, important points made by the author.
The book is called, Llama Llama and the Bully Goat. What I want to highlight is that Llama told someone about the issue he was having with Bully Goat and his life changed for the better. Sometimes we think that telling someone will only make things worse. I agree, that there are cases where if you trust the wrong person, your plan backfires. This is why trust is so vitally important. With bullying on the rise, more and more adults/supervisors and teachers are being made aware of what to watch for and how to help you and me.
I'll never forget the time when a police officer came to my aid when a group of students were causing trouble for me. This was at a horse camp when I was around the age of 10. For whatever reason, these kids decided I was to be their target for the summer. Once I made it known that I was not happy at all with how they were treating me, the police officer stepped in. From that day forward he looked out of me and those kids didn't bother me one more time. Instead, I was able to forge to new friendship and had a great rest of Horse Camp. Honestly, if I hadn't talked with that police officer, I would have been miserable.
So I encourage you to either read Llama Llama and the Bully Goat or actively find someone you can trust. Whether or not you're in a bad situation now, try to pick out someone you'd go to for help so when the time comes, you know exactly who to go to.
I hope you all have a fantastic week!
--Ruth Jackson
I don't know about you, but I had a crazy busy week. Everyday was filled with work with only a bit of "me" time. One positive I can spin out of my hectic life is that I came across some books dealing with overcoming bullies. Some are geared for Elementary kids and others I found are for middle schoolers and above. The book I want to talk about today is more around a second grade reading level, but has interesting and I believe, important points made by the author.
The book is called, Llama Llama and the Bully Goat. What I want to highlight is that Llama told someone about the issue he was having with Bully Goat and his life changed for the better. Sometimes we think that telling someone will only make things worse. I agree, that there are cases where if you trust the wrong person, your plan backfires. This is why trust is so vitally important. With bullying on the rise, more and more adults/supervisors and teachers are being made aware of what to watch for and how to help you and me.
I'll never forget the time when a police officer came to my aid when a group of students were causing trouble for me. This was at a horse camp when I was around the age of 10. For whatever reason, these kids decided I was to be their target for the summer. Once I made it known that I was not happy at all with how they were treating me, the police officer stepped in. From that day forward he looked out of me and those kids didn't bother me one more time. Instead, I was able to forge to new friendship and had a great rest of Horse Camp. Honestly, if I hadn't talked with that police officer, I would have been miserable.
So I encourage you to either read Llama Llama and the Bully Goat or actively find someone you can trust. Whether or not you're in a bad situation now, try to pick out someone you'd go to for help so when the time comes, you know exactly who to go to.
I hope you all have a fantastic week!
--Ruth Jackson
Monday, September 22, 2014
Choices
Hello everyone! Gorgeous morning and I just saw some yellow leaves!! Super stoked for Fall, I even reorganized my closet and sadly put my shorts away. Looking back it was a busy working summer, but I did manage to have some fun in between. Never did get to the beach though....NEXT TIME!
Today, I wanted to talk about a site I came across a couple weeks ago here. When perusing the website, I felt honored to read people's stories about bullying; both sad and courageous ones. Even though middle school was a long time ago, I still remember the words thrown at me and the looks on their faces. There are so many stories on here and love the fact that there is such a place for kids to share and feel welcomed versus the atmosphere school gives.
Personally, I believe one of the biggest hurdles when being bullied is not feeling alone. This site helps kids not only see that other people are going through the same thing, but hopefully gives them courage to stand up. If it weren't for my friends growing up, I honestly have no idea where I'd be.
I choose respect, love, kindness, generosity, inclusion and peace! What do you choose?
--Ruth Jackson
Today, I wanted to talk about a site I came across a couple weeks ago here. When perusing the website, I felt honored to read people's stories about bullying; both sad and courageous ones. Even though middle school was a long time ago, I still remember the words thrown at me and the looks on their faces. There are so many stories on here and love the fact that there is such a place for kids to share and feel welcomed versus the atmosphere school gives.
Personally, I believe one of the biggest hurdles when being bullied is not feeling alone. This site helps kids not only see that other people are going through the same thing, but hopefully gives them courage to stand up. If it weren't for my friends growing up, I honestly have no idea where I'd be.
I choose respect, love, kindness, generosity, inclusion and peace! What do you choose?
--Ruth Jackson
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Anti-Bullying Weekend - September 12 - 14
The weather has made it's choice, it's "officially" Fall! I'm actually not happy about this. I was wearing my flip flops yesterday and my feet were FREEEZZINNG!! Oh, well. We all knew it was coming.
Anyways, I'm not sure how many of you know this, but this past weekend was designated as "Anti-Bullying Weekend" by Springfield Massachusetts's Mayor Domenic Sarno. This event is in memory of an 11-year-old boy who committed suicide in 2009 due to bullying. Along with the Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover Foundation, they see the importance of spreading the word about the impact of bullying. Awareness is the key to helping put an end to this disrespect of each other.
Over the past four years, the foundation has raised money to distribute scholarships to high school seniors across the country that have demonstrated efforts to combat bullying in their schools and communities. Leaders and Mayors in various states have gotten together to help each other build a safer community.
Mark this on your calendars for next year, but also keep in mind what bullying does. Everything has a consequence. What's the consequence of bullying? Carl's story is just one of many.
If you are a high school senior who would like to apply for the scholarship you can do so HERE! Remember BE A BUDDY NOT A BULLY.
More about the event and foundation.
--Ruth Jackson
Anyways, I'm not sure how many of you know this, but this past weekend was designated as "Anti-Bullying Weekend" by Springfield Massachusetts's Mayor Domenic Sarno. This event is in memory of an 11-year-old boy who committed suicide in 2009 due to bullying. Along with the Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover Foundation, they see the importance of spreading the word about the impact of bullying. Awareness is the key to helping put an end to this disrespect of each other.
Over the past four years, the foundation has raised money to distribute scholarships to high school seniors across the country that have demonstrated efforts to combat bullying in their schools and communities. Leaders and Mayors in various states have gotten together to help each other build a safer community.
Mark this on your calendars for next year, but also keep in mind what bullying does. Everything has a consequence. What's the consequence of bullying? Carl's story is just one of many.
If you are a high school senior who would like to apply for the scholarship you can do so HERE! Remember BE A BUDDY NOT A BULLY.
More about the event and foundation.
--Ruth Jackson
Friday, September 12, 2014
Understanding the Bully
Beautiful day outside yet, the weather can't seem to make up its mind between Summer and Fall. I actually feel that same way. On one hand, I don't want Summer to end, but....I do love Fall and its pretty colors and I love breaking out my sweatpants and cute sweaters. Each season has its benefits and beauty.
Today, I'd like to talk about the media/entertainment and its role in discussing bullying. Many movies have scenes where bullying takes place like the one I talked about earlier, "Bridge to Terabithia." According to the U.S. Department of Natural Health and Human Services, between 1 and 4 and 1 and 3 students say they have been bullied at school. There have been numerous studies done that show bullying effecting youth as they grow into adulthood.
One of the reasons why I wanted to join Nobul is because I feel very strongly about bullying not only since I've often been the target, but because I can still feel the effects. I love being able to speak out about bullying and have a chance to change people's thinking. Writing about it is one way to spread awareness as are speeches, advertisements, movies etc. When you feel strongly about something, I suggest you take action in whatever medium you feel comfortable using. Writing is my passion so I use it to talk about topics that mean something to me.
Many journalists, producers and the like have spoken against bullying which is definitely a good thing, though we must be careful not to become hateful. We want to spread inclusion not hate, especially not hate against the "bully" himself. In many instances a person who is bullying another person is struggling in other areas of his or her life and it is important to show compassion to such individuals. We don't want to criminalize the bully, instead we want to teach the bully and the bullied how to self-regulate behavior and provide them with tools to manage difficult and stressful situations.
Goldie Hawn's foundation, MindUP, is a 12 step program that teaches children mindfulness to help improve perspective taking, empathy and kindness as well as foster complex problem solving skills. This program embodies Nobul's mission and goals in creating a safe environment for all children.
No one should have to endure bullying. I believe the first step to snapback against bullying is to become aware of how great the problem is and to learn how we can help manage such situations. To see bullying statistics posted by the U.S. Government, here is the link.
--Ruth Jackson
Today, I'd like to talk about the media/entertainment and its role in discussing bullying. Many movies have scenes where bullying takes place like the one I talked about earlier, "Bridge to Terabithia." According to the U.S. Department of Natural Health and Human Services, between 1 and 4 and 1 and 3 students say they have been bullied at school. There have been numerous studies done that show bullying effecting youth as they grow into adulthood.
One of the reasons why I wanted to join Nobul is because I feel very strongly about bullying not only since I've often been the target, but because I can still feel the effects. I love being able to speak out about bullying and have a chance to change people's thinking. Writing about it is one way to spread awareness as are speeches, advertisements, movies etc. When you feel strongly about something, I suggest you take action in whatever medium you feel comfortable using. Writing is my passion so I use it to talk about topics that mean something to me.
Many journalists, producers and the like have spoken against bullying which is definitely a good thing, though we must be careful not to become hateful. We want to spread inclusion not hate, especially not hate against the "bully" himself. In many instances a person who is bullying another person is struggling in other areas of his or her life and it is important to show compassion to such individuals. We don't want to criminalize the bully, instead we want to teach the bully and the bullied how to self-regulate behavior and provide them with tools to manage difficult and stressful situations.
Goldie Hawn's foundation, MindUP, is a 12 step program that teaches children mindfulness to help improve perspective taking, empathy and kindness as well as foster complex problem solving skills. This program embodies Nobul's mission and goals in creating a safe environment for all children.
No one should have to endure bullying. I believe the first step to snapback against bullying is to become aware of how great the problem is and to learn how we can help manage such situations. To see bullying statistics posted by the U.S. Government, here is the link.
--Ruth Jackson
Friday, September 5, 2014
Michael Brown: What Now?
Hello All!! Labor Day is behind us and I trust you had a relaxing last weekend before the warm weather ends. Today, I wanted to address the Michael Brown shooting. If you don't know anything about it, I suggest you look here. I searched long and hard to find an article that didn't appear to have a particular slant in any direction. This incident is a sad one, yet still needs to be looked at closely before shouting out accusations.
Until we have all the facts, I don't believe that any one of us should blame the police or Michael himself. Apparently, there has been a bit of mistrust between the African American community and the police force. I don't live in Missouri, so I won't give an opinion on that. Just hope that overtime and with a lot of open communication, both sides can be peaceful with one another.
I hope there is a fair and just trial for police officer Darren Wilson, though community members are worried Robert P. McCulloch, the lead official handling the investigation, will be bias towards the police force. We send our love and condolences to the friends and family of Michael Brown and are very sorry for their loss.
--Ruth Jackson
Until we have all the facts, I don't believe that any one of us should blame the police or Michael himself. Apparently, there has been a bit of mistrust between the African American community and the police force. I don't live in Missouri, so I won't give an opinion on that. Just hope that overtime and with a lot of open communication, both sides can be peaceful with one another.
I hope there is a fair and just trial for police officer Darren Wilson, though community members are worried Robert P. McCulloch, the lead official handling the investigation, will be bias towards the police force. We send our love and condolences to the friends and family of Michael Brown and are very sorry for their loss.
 |
| Protesters, including Lesley McFadden, Michael Brown's mother, marched in Ferguson, Mo. Photo: New York Times |
--Ruth Jackson
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